Final Fantasy X: Summarized!
by Spanner
Summary: A quick 'n dirty rundown of the events of Final Fantasy X...


Author's Notes:  
  
Heh. I can't believe that this is the first thing I've posted to  
Fanfiction.net. Please don't consider this a typical example of my  
writing - this was just something that I threw together on the spur of the  
moment in an e-mail to my sister. She thought it was cute, and that I  
should publish it, and so I did. It's definitely not meant to be taken  
seriously. Anyway, there are spoilers a-plenty ahead, so don't read it if  
you haven't played through the game - heck it probably won't make much  
sense to you if you haven't, anyway.  
  
Anyway, Final Fantasy X belongs to those crazy cats at Squaresoft, whom I  
thank heartily for a series of great games (even if there are a few I  
haven't played, yet), and I hope they don't mind my little spoof.  
  
And now, I present:  
  
Final Fantasy X: Summarized!  
  
Long ago, there was this war between Zanarkand and Bevelle. Zanarkand was  
getting its collective butt handed to it, and so the then-leader, Yu  
Yevon, unleashed a doomsday device, intended to drag Bevelle and the whole  
world down with them. That device was Sin, and Sin proceeded to wander  
around destroying stuff, as it was built to do. Now, normally, one  
wouldn't expect someone like Yu Yevon to be the most popular guy in the  
world, but, after a few centuries, that's exactly what happened. Go  
figure.  
  
Anyway, while Sin was off making a hash of Bevelle (and anyplace else it  
could get its fins on), all the dead Zanarkandians decided that they  
didn't wanna be, and so formed the Fayth, to keep Zanarkand alive in their  
dreams. Well, everyone has to have a hobby - even the dead, I suppose.  
  
Meanwhile, Yunalesca, Yu Yevon's daughter was off getting a tan on some  
tropical beach (I know this, because she's STILL wearing her bathing suit,  
even after a thousand years), when she heard the news that Zanarkand was  
destroyed, and her old man was trying to do the same to the rest of the  
world. This annoyed her, because she was in the rest of the world at the  
time, and didn't particularly want to see it go boom. So, she comes up  
with this way to beat up Sin. Unfortunately, her dad was better at this  
kind of thing than she was, and so while HER mega-aeons could beat up HIS  
mega-aeons, he could kipe her aeon afterwards and make a new Sin. Plus,  
she could only do it once, being dead afterward, while he could keep it up  
indefinitely.  
  
And, so, the centuries pass. The Fayth keep dreaming, and Sin keeps  
breaking stuff, and Summoners keep beating it down. The people of Bevelle  
decide that anyone who can put out that level of hurt is someone that it  
would be in their best interests to respect, and so start a huge and  
elaborate religion centered around Yu Yevon. Over time, the religion  
develops into a full-fledged opiate-for-the-masses, keeping people happy  
by telling them that all this carnage is all their fault, which, oddly  
seems to work pretty well. The clergy also take the opportunity to dis the  
Al Bhed, by telling them that they couldn't play with their machina toys  
anymore (to which the Al Bhed gave them the raspberry). So, while the  
Church of Yevon is doing a nice job of making the world seem like it isn't  
so bad, they aren't really doing much to truly improve the situation.  
  
The Fayth are really kind of embarrassed about the whole wanton  
destruction thing and so keep coming up with newfangled ways to help the  
living world out. For a long time, this meant churning out new and better  
minor aeons (also known as "wimpeons"), which, while useful in  
hand-to-hand combat, weren't particularly good for battling a critter used  
to munching on cities for breakfast. Finally, though, they realize that  
they've become so good at creating solid objects in the living world, that  
they could actually resurrect one of the original residents of Zanarkand  
into the waking world... Why, they could reawaken their finest warrior,  
who, armed with the long lost secrets of their destroyed city, could  
finally destroy Sin forever!  
  
Instead, they sent Jecht, because they were all big blitzball fans.  
  
Jecht, being the egotistical, alcoholic charmer he is, quickly manages to  
get himself thrown in jail. The Fayth aren't particularly amused, but  
can't really do anything about it, being dead and all. Fortunately, Braska  
has decided that, against Auron's advice, what he REALLY needs to make his  
ragtag band of misfits and hooligans complete is an actual hooligan, and  
so takes a tour of the local hoosegow to find a criminal to recruit. Jecht  
is the most disreputable man he finds there, and so he signs him up  
immediately, much to Auron's disgust.  
  
So, the three of them go a-pilgriming, with lots of zany antics on the  
part of easy-going Braska, uptight Auron, and self-absorbed Jecht. Along  
the way, Jecht gradually learns responsibility, and Auron begins to see  
the good in Jecht, and they all become good friends, dedicated to saving  
Spira.  
  
Then they reach Zanarkand, and do exactly the same thing that all the  
previous Summoners have done. Braska sacrifices himself to change Jecht  
into a mega-aeon, Jecht proceeds to beat the crap out of Sin, and Yu Yevon  
turns Jecht into the next Sin. And the Fayth slap their collective  
forehead, because all their hard work was for nothing. Auron, for his  
part, is understandably pissed, and so Yunalesca kills him out of pity.  
This wasn't quite the solution that Auron was hoping for (especially since  
Jecht had asked him to look after his kid), and so he crawls home,  
mortally wounded, but alive, and hands Yuna over to Khimari for  
safekeeping. Then he dies.  
  
Since that's REALLY inconvenient for his plans, Auron stays Unsent. This  
turns out to be a blessing in disguise, because he can now travel to the  
dream Zanarkand where Jecht came from, and look after Tidus, as Jecht had  
asked. Unfortunately, Auron turns out to be almost as poor a father-figure  
as Jecht was, and so the next several years of Tidus's life are not  
exactly all sunshine and roses.  
  
The years pass, and Sin returns. So, the Fayth decide that it's time to  
try again. Since the Fayth generally take at least a thousand years before  
they'll actually try something new, they go with the same plan as last  
time. And, again, instead of a great warrior, they pick the star blitzball  
player. The fact that he's the son of the old fan-favorite is just an  
added bonus.  
  
So, dream-Tidus becomes real-Tidus, and he's even worse at his mission  
than Jecht was. At least Jecht had his colossal ego to fall back on.  
Tidus has nothing. Still, being the plucky young hero he is, he quickly  
befriends a pretty Al Bhed girl who, over the space of a couple hours,  
punches him in the stomach and kicks him in the face, but is otherwise  
pretty nice.  
  
After the two go diving for airships, Sin comes by to see his son and  
accidentally knocks him into the ocean while trying to give him a playful  
noogie. Tidus washes up on a beach, where his blitzball skills earn him a  
new circle of friends in Wakka and the Besaid Aurochs. After Wakka   
provides him with food and a warm bed, Tidus proceeds to stomp all over  
his hospitality by breaking almost every sacred law he can find on short  
notice. Fortunately, Wakka's a rather forgiving sort, and so it turns out  
all right. Tidus then meets Lulu and Yuna, and decides that the babe  
factor in the latter is mighty high (the fact that he almost completely  
ignores the former may be one of the big reasons that Lulu's so cold to  
him at first).  
  
Tidus decides to tag along with the cute girl. Oh, and Lulu and Wakka,  
too. Ostensibly, because he's trying to get home, and someone in Luca  
might recognize him if he plays blitzball there. He next meets Khimari who  
turns out to be almost as good a friend as the Al Bhed girl, as he   
attempts to poke Tidus to death with a very pointy stick on their first  
meeting.  
  
The five of them head for Luca, stopping off in Kilika after Sin makes  
ANOTHER attempt at some father-son bonding, resulting in the  
near-destruction of Kilika. In Luca, Auron joins the team, and picks where  
he left off in his Tidus-nagging, much to Tidus's dismay. They also meet  
Maester Seymour for the first time, who seems like a pretty nice guy,  
though Tidus instantly dislikes him because he spends a little too much  
time smiling at Yuna.  
  
The six of them head onwards, and eventually arrive at Mushroom Rock,  
where Sin proceeds to paste a bunch of Crusaders and Al Bhed, while  
several high ranking members of the Yevon Priesthood smirkingly look on.  
Once the body count is high enough, and the sprits of the Crusaders are  
broken, the Priesthood magnimoniously welcomes the heretical Crusaders  
back into their ranks. The Al Bhed, of course, have better sense, and  
crawl back to their desert Home to heal.  
  
Not long afterwards, it is finally revealed to Tidus that the end of the  
Pilgrimage will be the end of Yuna's life. Tidus is FURIOUS that they were  
keeping this from him. He wants to stop the pilgrimage right there, but  
Auron slaps him upside the head and he shuts up.  
  
The merry band continues onward, and Rikku, the girl who'd befriended  
Tidus earlier, joins the team after attempting to kidnap Yuna. Fortunately,  
Tidus was so impressed with the first impression she'd given him so long  
ago, instantly trusts her, and doesn't question the decision made by Yuna  
and Lulu to let her join the team.  
  
Whatever worries Tidus might have had about this situation were swept  
aside by another concern, however: When they reach Guadosalam, Seymour  
seriously infringes on Tidus's territory by proposing to Yuna. What REALLY  
sets him on edge, though, is that Yuna seems to think it's a good idea.  
So, in a generally bad mood, Tidus follows Yuna to Macalania Temple, where  
Seymour reveals that he's actually a homicidal maniac who wants to kill  
everyone in the world, and Yuna reveals that she knew this all along and  
was just trying to get close enough to him that it would be easier to find  
a good place to stick a knife, and so everything is okay. Or, it would be  
if killing him didn't result in them all being excommunicated and hunted  
down like dogs.  
  
Fortunately, they fall through a hole in the ice and land on top of Sin,  
where they are much safer. Sin drops them all off on Bikanel Island, where  
the Yevonites are blowing away the Al Bhed for the grim crime of trying to  
find a way to beat Sin that doesn't require killing Summoners and making  
Sin from their Guardians. Rikku's upset by this, but at least the team  
gets a cool airship to use. This is especially fortunate, because Yuna's  
been captured, and the team needs to bust in to Bevelle to get her back.  
The team busts in, and all get captured, instead.  
  
They discover that, not only has Seymour recovered from being killed, but  
the well-loved Maester Mika is ALSO Unsent. Of the two remaining Maesters,  
Kelk Ronso decides that the ratio of Unsent Maesters to alive Maesters is  
definitely not to his liking, and so heads home to Mt. Gagazet. Yuna,  
meanwhile, agrees to marry Seymour in order to save her friends. Seymour   
kisses her (ew!), and then orders them all killed anyway. Fortunately,   
they all get away, and Tidus helps Yuna get all that dead guy taste out of  
her mouth by making out with her in a pond.  
  
They travel onward, engaging in zany side quests such as a meeting with  
Lulu's tragically fated former Summoner, who died just after obtaining  
Yojimbo because Lulu just wasn't guardian enough to protect her.  
Considering that they were fighting such creatures as Tonberries and Dark  
Elements, while Lulu was (presumably) even more inexperienced a mage than  
she is when Tidus first meets her, it's no wonder.  
  
The gang crosses Mt. Gagazet, with the Ronsos' blessing, and when they  
reach the top, they discover that Seymour, who's STILL not dead, has  
slaughtered the entire Ronso race! (Well, except for the blitzball team.  
Oh, and that weapon salesman. And also that older Ronso and the child  
Ronso. But other than that, the entire Ronso race!) So, they bust him up  
again.  
  
A little later, Tidus talks with the Fayth, and they tell him that he is  
just a dream, without really providing any helpful information. Oh, and  
if Sin is killed for good, Tidus will die, because the Fayth will stop  
dreaming. So, with a bit of worry added but nothing else useful, Tidus  
continues on.  
  
The group reaches Zanarkand and have a charming conversation with Lady  
Yunalesca, in which she reveals what has to be done in order to stop Sin  
for a while. Yuna's pissed, because she came all that way only to learn  
that she has to turn one of her good friends into Sin just to put Sin down  
for a few years. So, she tells Yunalesca where to stick it, and gets  
medieval on her ass.  
  
After permanently destroying the only even partially successful method  
for defeating Sin that anyone's ever come up with, Yuna cools off and  
decides that it might be a good idea to come up with an alternative  
method. They go to chat with Maester Mika, who has reconsidered his hasty  
decision to execute the most promising Summoner of the current batch, and  
wants Yuna to go perform the Final Summoning. Naturally, he freaks when  
Yuna tells him what they've done, and commits suicide (if it can be called  
that, when you're already dead) rather than watch Spira's doom.  
Fortunately, the Fayth are a little more helpful this time - but only a  
little. They pretty much confirm what Tidus's gang has already figured  
out: Yes, Sin can be calmed by the sound of the Hymn of the Fayth, and  
yes, it can be defeated by killing Yu Yevon.  
  
By now, Tidus is feeling a bit hypocritical about whining about not being  
told that Yuna was going to kill herself with the Final Summoning, now  
that he knows that Sin's death is going to mean his own, and he hasn't  
told anyone. At least, he SHOULD feel hypocritical. I mean, the NERVE of  
the guy. Anyway, Yuna pulls a few strings and gets the whole world to sing  
"It's a Small World After All". This only enrages Sin, however, and so  
they go back to their original plan and have everyone sing the Hymn of the  
Fayth. Sin gapes at them like a hick while they chop their way inside.  
  
There they find - surprise! - Seymour! They paste his limey ass - for  
GOOD, this time - and continue on in to meet with Jecht. After a tearful  
reunion, the full moon comes out, and Jecht turns into an enormous monkey  
and starts destroying stuff. Well, he would if this were Dragonball Z, but  
it isn't. So, instead, he turns into his mega-aeon mode and gets totaled  
by his loving son and his friends.  
  
Yu Yevon, who's not quite the man he once was (and, in fact, is now a  
blobby purple floaty squid-thing), is now without an Aeon, and so starts  
to use Yuna's. Everyone has a great time pounding on Yuna's Aeons, whom  
they never really liked anyway, 'cause they were always making the rest of  
them look bad, and once Yuna runs out, they lay the smack down on Yu Yevon  
himself.  
  
Finally, Yu Yevon is dead! Sin is destroyed! The world is safe. And now,  
Auron decides that since he's dead, he really ought to start acting like  
it. With a sad farewell, he allows himself to be Sent.  
  
But that's not the only goodbye! With Sin gone, the Fayth have decided to  
move on as well. And as they go, so does their Dreaming. Which, sadly,  
includes Tidus. Tidus chooses that moment to reveal that he's only a  
dream, and that he's going to be going now. Yuna is upset by this, but  
there's not much they can do. She can't even hug him, because he's half  
gone already. So, rather than put things off any longer, Tidus jumps off  
the airship. One could only hope that he finished disappearing before he  
hit anything hard. Ouch!  
  
The rest of the gang returns to a normal life (well, as normal as their  
respective lives are likely to get). Yuna faces the adoration of Spira,  
and has the unenviable task of telling everybody how great the world is  
now, when her True Love pretty much died in her arms only days before.  
  
Speculations on the lives of the survivors:  
  
Rikku: Rejoined her father and the rest of the Al Bhed on board the  
Airship. Now they travel the world, teaching people to use Machina and  
distributing Al Bhed primers to promote the language.  
  
Wakka: Went back to playing blitzball. The Auroch are in need of a new  
Star Player, and, frankly, Yuna is no longer in need of Guardians. Talked  
with Lulu about Chappu a lot, until one day they both got sick of denying  
they liked each other and spontaneously ripped each other's clothes off  
for some sweet, sweet lovin'.  
  
Lulu: Opened a creepy voodoo shop to sell her collection of adorable   
weaponry. Eventually got knocked up by Wakka and married him, making him  
her obedient slave for life. Bwahahahaha!  
  
Khimari: Hooked up with a cute blitzball-playing Ronso babe for some hot  
Ronso nookie, ostensibly to repopulate the species. Yes, life was  
definitely good for our hornless Ronso friend.  
  
Yuna: Was enthusiastically elected head of what remained of the Church of  
Yevon. The enthusiasm dimmed somewhat when she renamed it the Church of  
Tidus and ordered radical changes, such as telling people not to hate the  
Al Bhed, and making learning to whistle a mandatory requirement for  
becoming clergy. 


End file.
